Saturday, December 17, 2005

Just checked's "Newest Comics" section, and one caught my eye: "Nerds and Co."

Listen to their entry description:

"Not an anime......Not a fanfiction......Not done by twelve year olds......Not about a video game created by a major corporation......Dare we say it's...original?"

How many webcomics can you think of that meet that criteria?

"Not an anime"? If anything, I guess they mean manga. Otherwise, they'd be talking about an comic that's japanese animation, and that doesn't make any sense.

"Not a fanfiction"? Webcomics are words and art. FanFiction is just words. Terrible, awful words, describing unspeakable acts against literature. True, a webcomic's textual content can be supplemented with FanFiction, but it still would need art to accompany it to be considered a "comic." Of course, with FanFiction fueling the comic's plot, dialogue, and the other word-side factors, it would be quite an awful comic. But, it'd be a comic all the same.

"Not done by twelve year olds." When I started making webcomics at 17, I was greeted with a lot of surprise when I mentioned my age. I take that to mean there aren't a lot of 12 year old webcomiccers out there. And, if there are, I'm pretty sure that explains from whence sprite comics spring...

"Not about a video game created by a major corporation." What the hell are they talking about? Do they have any idea what a webcomic even is? Or, did they just get wind of this newfangled "comics on the inter-web" thing, and started yelling at the screen with pencils?

Anyway, onto their archive. Most of their entries are pretty unremarkable, but a certain few caught my attention, and not in a good way:

(Real quick side note: Where the fuck are the "next" and "previous" buttons? Navigating the archive shouldn't be a fucking chore. I normally don't swear, but that's a pretty big peeve of mine, as I've realized. To not have a navigation system is like giving the finger to your readers. You can manage a nice flash menu at the top, Nerds and Co, but you can't fathom that people don't want to refer to your archive every time they want to peruse your strips? Way to go.)

"Divine Intervention"
I don't understand this comic. So, it's time to break a bad strip down:

If it's supposed to be an "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade" reference, it's not. It's not the choice of the act, it's the choice of the choice. In other words, it's not the act of drinking that's in question... it's the presence of a certain cup to drink. That's how the reference has to be in order to work. The comic is flawed on a fundamental level, just on that alone. Besides that, where'd the cup in panel 4 come from? I didn't see him pull nor pour the glass. So where'd it come from? Magic...?

That, and Panel Five. Panel Six says he has "choosen... poorly." And yet, in Panel Five? GreenHat character has nothing but a look of ecstasy on both his body and soul's face. Choosing poorly looks like the best choice he's ever made, based on his expression alone. If he's happy to have made the choice, it's not a poor choice. Game over. Comic makes no sense.

No one understands irony. What's going on this comic isn't "irony," it's wordplay (and bad wordplay at that). It'd be ironic if the character said, "It's not like I'll go to hell for this!", and then goes to hell. It wouldn't be funny, but dammit, that's irony

"Who The Fuck Wants To Hear It?"
After dragging us through a rant/whine-fest, you reward your readers for bearing through it all with an uninspired, non-redeeming punchline? Great job. God forbid your comic is ever funny.

"Seriously, Good Luck With That..."
Tremendous laughter calls for more than just a scrunched smirk.

In all honesty, all this reviewing, ragging, and ranting was all for naught, because Nerds and Co's last update was March 17, 2005.

Although, you know what I noticed, going through their archive and reading the newsposts? About 4 times through the archive did the newsposts apologize for lack of new comics, and about 3 times did they announce "It's good to be back," signalling what I presume to be a return from an unannounced break.

Here's the thing: if your comic is 3 years old and only has 34 comics in the archive, and your last comic was just under a year ago? My advice? Don't bother submitting it to Rather, just give up.


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