I know it's passé to hate on CAD, but I mean... that's the punchline?

Really?

"I know a guy who knows a guy" isn't a punchline... it's a blank space, a placeholder for the author to replace upon thinking of an actual joke.

Examples:

"Eh. I once knew a security guard for a costume store named 'Nappy.'"

"Eh. Turns out my closet adjoins a highschool drama department. Who knew?"

"Eh. Turns out to be a PI, you don't need disguises to investigate cheating spouses... just a parked car and a camera"

"Eh. Just in case I need to change my name and address. Fast."

"Eh. Those "one per customer" coupons are a gold mine for a man with a thousand faces."

Oh sure, they're not all winners, but at least I'm trying